The practice of self-denial (in a self-gratifying culture)
I had one of those sleepless nights again. They hit me ever so often. Now that my kids are 5, 9 and 10 years old and having the best sleep of their lives, it’s like my body is missing early motherhood and being up all night or something.
If there is one thing I have learned our body needs to function well, it is sleep and rest. When we are lacking in this area, our body will literally crave sleep and to give in to that craving is natural, normal and healthy for us.
But what do we do when we crave things that are unhealthy?
As a follower of Jesus, my goal in life is to imitate and live by His teachings. I believe He was who He said He was and should have full authority as Lord of my life. Because I believe this, I take the Bible seriously. It is the most sacred, historical document that we have that has been preserved for centuries. It is meant for our good and for our spiritual health. The Bible is not just a book of rules to beat us over the head with, but the redemptive story of Jesus sent to redeem us and provide a new way of living.
In fact, Paul wrote in Galatians 5:14 that the whole law could be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Turns out that this is actually a lot easier said than done. Because if we are truly loving ourselves well, we are living out another verse in Galatians:
“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.”
Galatians 5:24
Which sounds a lot like what Jesus asked of His disciples when He said in Matthew 16:24:
“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.”
We live in a culture where we have instant gratification at our fingertips. We can have anything we want faster than ever before! As the rapid speed of self-gratification increases, it becomes increasingly more important (and difficult!) for us to practice the discipline of self-denial. By evidence of how often I have to fight my own sinful urges, I still have a long way to go.
“So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.”
Galatians 5:16
While I was awake last night, this topic of self-denial would not leave my mind. So I did some research on cravings.
Get this: Experts agree that the way to beat a craving is to drink more water. Flushing out the addictive tendencies and replacing them with one of the most basic needs for survival! Water is not always appealing on the surface, but it is the source of LIFE.
Lately, I have been wrestling with the tension of why my life constantly feels like a struggle. Did I say the right thing? Was that the right choice? Should I wear this? Should I read that? And these don’t even begin to touch the surface of the questions I’m constantly asking as I raise my children. Am I making the right decisions for their future? Are we raising them to pursue and love Jesus with all their heart? This is me just being transparent, but I thought by now I would have more things figured out.
As I have sought God through prayer, reading and listening to the teachings on Scripture… I am learning that maybe the fact that we are struggling, means we are doing something right. Maybe living the Christian life is actually constantly being in the struggle against our flesh. (John Mark Comer has a great book out about this very thing!)
Speaking of struggling…
Running is something I have taken up consistently over the last few years and it’s honestly helped me in this area of self-denial. Now that I am three years in to a running regimen, I have learned to love it. But in the beginning (and there are still days!) I was denying myself any form of comfort or pleasure in the moment, for the reward and benefit that would come later.
Just as we train our bodies physically, we also have to train our bodies, spiritually. This looks like putting an effort into the spiritual disciplines of reading God’s word, worship, finding supportive community and accountability, prayer and fasting. All of these disciplines train our sinful bodies to have a spiritual appetite. Without them, we will constantly be miserable. Wonder why you all of a sudden dread going to church? Could be time to check your appetite.
Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Now for a little real talk… I am in a season of life as a busy wife and mom of three, that I can get fed up and exhausted to the point where I just want to do something for myself. It can become so easy to justify giving in to sinful desires, because “I pour out so much” and “I deserve it.” And I will tell you, I have my weak moments and there are absolutely days that I give in to the wrong cravings. I am still on a journey like everyone of growing and repenting, daily. But this kind of debilitating thinking only further leads down a path of self-destruction. Praise God that He has rescued me from this path several times!
I believe the scariest place to be, as a believer, is when we begin to rationalize our sinful desires. We no longer have the warning light that we are doing something unhealthy and our conscience begins to get seared to the point where we no longer crave spiritual things. Apathy sets in and we become like the people 1 Timothy 3 warns us to stay away from in the last days:
You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!
This is when we need to go back to the advice of the experts on how to get rid of unhealthy cravings - drink more water. And in this case, the living water of Jesus Christ is the One that will never leave us thirsty again.
But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.
John 4:14
And with the living water flowing within us, the Spirit of God, we can continue to run the race with endurance. Not giving up. Staying in the struggle and not losing heart. This is my prayer for all of us as we walk this journey together.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus,the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:1-3