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Today we made our way to the doctor bright and early to find out the gender of our next baby! We are SO EXCITED to announce that our  next baby will be the...

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AHHHHHHH!!! We are having a GIRL!!!

I was so shocked and excited that I CRIED! I honestly wasn't sure it was in the Robinson DNA to have a little girl. For those of you who don't know, Josh has three brothers and his dad grew up with all brothers, so the Robinson male line is a strong one!

But if I were completely honest, in my heart it wasn't a complete surprise.

Josh actually prayed a few months ago (before I was even pregnant!) that we'd have a little girl. It was very random and sweet. We were out to eat and he just looked up and said, "I prayed that we'd have a little girl next." I was shocked, first of all, that he was talking about having another baby so soon! Haha. And then, I was worried that it wouldn't happen and it would seem like his prayer was unanswered.

So this whole time, I have remembered his prayer. And when we got pregnant again, it was the first thing I thought about.

I'm so glad Micah will be a big brother and get to PROTECT his sweet little sister!! I think his only concern right now is that she will want to play "ball!" with him. If she's anything like her mama, I'm sure she will. ;)

We are still deciding on a name (believe it or not, we had a boy name picked out!) and will share that process on here soon!

We can't wait to meet Baby GIRL Robinson coming March 2014!

(Also, be sure to check out my husband's blog for a video announcement he put together!) 

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Since Micah turned one a couple weeks ago, we've been on "walk alert" ever since. Watching and waiting for him to take those first few steps on his own. There are some days when I think he's close, and others when I think he's still a ways off from walking independently.

I remember a time when I looked at him and thought... how will he ever learn to roll over?! And then at 3 months, he did. How will he ever be able to sit up on his own?! At 5 months, he was. How will he ever learn to crawl?! At 8 months, I couldn't get him to stay still! And now I look at him with wonder and think...

How will he ever learn to walk?

You see, from a mother's perspective, I am always fascinated when he learns something new. Because it has nothing to do with me. I never pushed him to roll over, sit up or crawl... and I'm not rushing the walking either. He is learning to grow independently. And at every stage, I am just thankful that he comes running back to my arms... well, crawling back, for now. :)

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Becoming a parent has made me see things from a completely different perspective. I can't help but think about how my Heavenly Father looks at me. I'm an imperfect parent and he's a perfect one. And I know that the unconditional love I feel for Micah is just a smidgen of what God feels for him, and me and you. But it may be the closest experience we can have to understanding God's love for us, here on earth.

But here's the big difference... instead of watching as I learn to grow independently and apart from Him, God is watching as I become a baby again in His arms.

I've lived life on my own, apart from Him. I've fallen and gotten back up, with bruises and scars to prove it. But Jesus said something more profound than I ever realized before having a child of my own...

“I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven."Matthew 18:3-4

Wow. A child. God wants me to stay little for as long as possible. He's not concerned with me learning how to crawl, walk, or even run through this life without Him. He wants me to sit in his lap, content with just being with Him.

This frees me from needing all the answers, or gaining biblical "knowledge" that is useless apart from just simple obedience.

A few weeks ago, my pastor said a statement that hit me in the gut, "Some of us are educated far beyond our level of obedience." Wow, so true. In the past I have been guilty of thinking I needed to go "deeper" or gain more biblical knowledge to show my devotion to God... but was I even loving my neighbor as I love myself? Or tithing? Or spending time in prayer?

Back to His lap. That's where I want to stay.

When other people fly by in their cool walking shoes, strutting their stuff independently and having all the answers, I will rest in the fact that I am exactly where I need to be. A baby in my Father's arms.

And today, I am happy that my one year old is still sitting perfectly content in mine.

I met my son.

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It was the day after Labor day (my due date) when I went in for my weekly checkup with the doctor. She started off by saying, "He's not here YET?!" And then assured me that many women are now going at least a week past their due date and to be prepared for that. I was patient. Ready for her to check me and send me home again to wait.

But, not this time.

She checked me, eyes wide saying, "Have you been having contractions today?" I had. But I had been for weeks by then -- and I told her that. She told me she wasn't sure that I wasn't in labor "RIGHT NOW," that I was 5-6cm, completely effaced with a bulging water and needed to head to the hospital. I wasn't hurting too bad before we walked in for the appointment, but walking out I began to have pain. Josh's parents were already with us, our bags had been packed for a couple weeks, so we drove straight to the hospital while I called my family and got the news out that we would be having a baby soon!

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We arrived at the hospital around 3:30pm. I was hooked up to a bunch of IV's and given the instruction that I would be waiting on my doctor to come over and break my water for me - if it didn't break before then on it's own. We sat and waited, took some pictures and Josh started the playlist of music we prepared for my labor. Around 5:30pm, the doctor came in and broke my water (weirdest thing ever!) and since my "contractions" weren't progressing me any, they gave me some Pitocin to get things going. I didn't notice much of a difference between the "Pitocin contractions" and my "contractions" at first. When the nurse asked me for a number on the pain scale "if and when" I would want an epidural -- I told her 7 (our room number, which also happens to be the number for completion according to Scripture, seemed perfect). At this point, my pain level was a 3 - so she turned up the Pitocin dosage.

And THEN I got to 7 real fast!

Literally. I was 7-8cm next time she checked me and the pain was definitely at least a 7!! I was handling the contractions internally, humming and trying to concentrate on the music to help soothe me. But it was definitely the worst pain I've ever experienced. And all of a sudden I understood what nurses and doctors meant when they told me that I wouldn't be able to "walk or talk" through active labor contractions. Josh looked at me and asked if I wanted an epidural - I told him, "Don't ask me that! Of course, I am going to say YES!" Haha. He knew I was hurting and couldn't bear to see it. I hesitated having an epidural because I wanted to experience labor pains for myself and I didn't want to slow down the progress I had already made. But one more contraction hit and Josh was out the door asking for the nurse to get it ready. I love him for that.

The epidural was a breeze. I was scared of the needle - but by the time it came, I was having a contraction anyway and didn't even feel it! Talk about relief. The contractions with the epidural were exactly like the ones I had been having for weeks - painless tightening and nothing more. The best part is I only had the epidural in my system for about 30 minutes before I was dilated to a 10 and ready to push!

Pushing started a little after 9pm. I expected no pain, but unfortunately this was the most painful part of the whole experience for me. Mostly exhausting. I pushed for an hour and 20 minutes before receiving the best gift I could ever ask for! Micah.

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10:33pm, 8.1lbs and 20.5 inches long.

He was just beautiful. And perfect. I was shaking all over and feeling tremendous pain, but I didn't care. Micah was the best pain medicine ever. His eyes were wide open and he was gazing at me and Josh like he already knew us. Oh, the love.

My recovery took quite a bit of time - and I held my baby boy for most of it. When they finally took him from me, I had a few moments alone in the delivery room to just thank God for this precious gift. He was the child I had prayed for.

The night went on as the outpouring of love from our family flooded our room. It was a beautiful sight. (Me, on the other hand, not so much! ha) I couldn't sleep and just stayed awake until around 3am looking at him. They finally came to take him back to the nursery to do some routine check ups, and I rested about an hour.

So many nurses were in and out that night/day... whatever it was... telling me so many things. About my personal recovery and about Micah's health. They said he appeared absolutely healthy! It wasn't until the following day that we were told that they heard a heart murmur. But even then, they brushed it aside saying this was very common and he had no other signs of problems. On the day of our discharge, they could still hear the murmur and recommended that we see a cardiologist to follow up with it. We were, of course, worried -- but so reassured by how healthy and perfect he appeared that we couldn't possibly believe this was a murmur that would affect him.

Yesterday we had our appointment at Shands and were told that Micah has two holes in his heart. One is very small and will not be a problem for him, but the other is a VSD and is medium to large and can cause problems over time, starting in as little as four weeks. They said he’s going to need open heart surgery to fix it and they want him to grow as much as possible before then. The ideal time for surgery would be 3-6 months, but they could do it now if it was necessary.

I won't lie to you. I am a wreck over this. Emotional, can't even describe how I'm feeling. But my only hope is in my Lord who saw it fit to even bless us with this child in the first place. I know Micah is here for a reason and if this heart defect and surgery is going to be a way for God to show Himself through us - then so be it. We want to make Jesus known to this world. We desire to leave a legacy through Micah and any future children that we may have.

One thing, the doctor said he's never seen a VSD hole Micah's size close on it's own. So right now, that's my prayer - God, show them a miracle.

Here's a highlight video my husband made from Micah's first week!