I was in fourth grade when I first asked a girl to be my "best friend." We were in the same class and both played alto saxophone in the school band.

It was meant to be.

I passed her a note asking the ever-important question and she responded with words that I still remember clearly to this day.

I already have a best friend.

Boom. Ouch. Rejected.

Somehow in our 9 years of life, she had already found her bestie. And although we went on to be great friends for the next five years or so, I never forgot that I was her second choice when inviting someone to hang out with after school, or go to the movies, or sleep over.

Almost 20 years later and I still don't have a best friend. But now by choice.

Best friends are exclusive.

Everyone wants a friend they can count on to be there through everything. The good, the bad, the fun, the sad. We want to (and should!) be able to share those moments with someone. However, when we only share these moments with one person in our lives we are, intentionally or not, excluding everyone else.

You've heard the saying, "Not everyone is going to be your best friend," and it's true, you will connect more with some people than others. But allowing yourself to make more than one close friendship is not only encouraging, it's healthy.

I have several close friends. All bring their unique perspectives, encouraging words and wisdom to my life. I have some friends I talk to about music, some about marriage, some about motherhood and with most, we talk about Jesus. I love them all. And on some days I need more of one than the other.

If I limited myself to receiving all I need from a friendship with one person - that wouldn't benefit me or them. It excludes me from allowing other voices to speak into my life, not to mention it puts unnecessary expectations on that one person.

But I do have other friends that speak into my life, I just have one friend that I feel closer to... you may be thinking.

It is natural to have friends that we are closer to during different seasons of our life. It's also natural to have those friends who are always friends no matter the season, nor the distance between us.

I know for me, personally, having moved a lot in the past eight years... it's been hard to maintain every close friendship I've made. I usually keep up with one or two from the places I've lived. If every time I moved I went into a new relationship talking about my "best friend," I have a feeling this would hinder me from making any other deep friendships.

I know, because I've been on the other side of this often.

Telling me about your best friend on our first lunch date or how you and your best friend did this or that... basically lets me know that there's a limit on how close we can get.

It's like my 4th grade self reappears and reminds me that I'll always be second best, at the most.

Friendships shouldn't be ranked. They should be horizontal lines that draw us closer or further away from Jesus. And the best friendships aren't strategic or self-seeking, they are spontaneous and timely gifts from God exactly when we need them.

I have come a long way since my elementary school days, when I thought I needed someone to tell my secrets to, and discuss boys and go through awkward stages with. I've realized that those friends exist plurally, and the only way to make them is by being the kind of person who shows love unconditionally, to anyone, without favoritism.

And if there ever comes a time when I do need that one friend to be there for me when everyone else fails... I know ultimately I've found one in Jesus.

This is it... the last month before Micah will turn ONE. I am just blown away with how fast this year has gone! But at the same time, I cannot imagine life without our precious boy! I can honestly say, I know for a fact I was created to be a mother. I always knew it was a desire of my heart. I just didn't know how MUCH until I became one.

And it still really hasn't set in yet that in a few months, Micah will be an OLDER brother. I am feeling the pregnancy symptoms like crazy this time (mainly the reason I'm using our family photos, instead of the "monthly sticker" photos for this post - I was just too tired and hungry and nauseous to get around to taking them) but we have our first "official" doctor appointment in a week, so I'm sure it will become so much more real then! (By the way, can I just say that having to wait until almost 11 weeks for our first doctor appointment has been quite the test of my patience. I had two ultrasounds by this point with Micah!!)

Anyway, back to our growing boy. This month Micah has become quite the chatterbox! We still don't understand all of it - but what we can make out very clearly is the word "ball! " It's so cute to hear him say it! (If you follow me on Instagram, you may have heard the video) A fun fact, is that this was also his daddy's first real word! And Josh is quite the athlete, so of course he believes this can only be a good sign of things to come. ;)

Of course, I'm fairly convinced that Micah is a little singer already. I promise that he sings along with me. It's just in the form of "ahhh's" but I'm pretty sure I can hear a little vibrato in there at times. ;)

Seriously though, we are proud parents. And we can only dream of what gifts the Lord has given to him!

I think we are beginning to see the transition from baby to toddler.

He sleeps well at night (11 hours) but is struggling to take that second nap lately. He plays well with other kids. He is drinking from a straw. He is finally holding a sippy cup. He is learning to repeat words and sounds. He is cruising all along the furniture and can stand a few seconds on his own.

I am so excited to come back and share about his 1st birthday party next month! I've been doing some planning and shopping already. I am not as much about the decorations as I am about the celebration with friends and family. But I've had a lot of fun thinking up some creative ideas. :)

Enjoy this last picture of Micah on the swing. His face cracks me up here!

So the news is out... we're having another baby!! I wanted to share a little more of the backstory in how we found out, 1) because I love documenting things like this for me to go back and read in years to come and 2) because it is quite hilarious how God works.

To be honest, I was more afraid to share that we were pregnant this time because the circumstances were very different.

As most of you know, we tried for over a year to get pregnant with Micah. It was a difficult journey, but one that I look back on with such a grateful heart. God allowed me to experience just a small portion of what many women are struggling with today. I am still really sensitive towards friends I know who are struggling - and I know that an announcement like mine, probably stung to a few. I had a pit in my stomach all day thinking about it.

But I've also learned that celebrating pregnancy and the birth of a child is not wrong. It is a blessing! And hiding my joy could never take away their pain. Only God can mend and heal each heart. But I do choose to be more careful with my words and that's why I decided not to share the entire story when we announced.

It stings enough to hear another baby announcement, I didn't want to add that it wasn't exactly planned.

Micah had just turned 10 months on the 4th of July. I was feeling kinda blah, so we stayed in and had a nice night as a family. The next day we went over to our friend's house so they could work on Josh's jeep and we ended up staying for dinner. They made spaghetti. I had... ahem, two plates. Whenever I manage to eat my entire plate, it's quite an accomplishment. So Josh made sure to acknowledge that this was definitely out of the ordinary by bringing up the "buffet story" when we found out I was pregnant last time. (I ate five plates at the buffet, okay. No big deal.) An increased appetite is generally my first symptom. This is probably when it first triggered in my mind... "could I be pregnant?"

But nursing had thrown things off in the monthly cycle, so I wasn't really able to keep track like usual. And of course, we've never just "gotten pregnant" easily, so I really didn't want to let my heart go there. And then there was the whole, "Micah is only 10 months!" thing in my mind.

A few days later we were invited to eat dinner with another couple at their house. I started feeling bad a few hours before we planned to go over there. I even made a comment to Josh that, "I felt pregnant."  But he didn't realize how serious I was, and actually brought it up jokingly at dinner with them! I think the wide-eyed look on my face said it all. As soon as we got home, I decided to take the one test I had left.

Turns out, it was positive. I was pregnant. I felt sick. And I didn't know if it was the thought of being pregnant again or actually being pregnant.

I walked out of the bathroom into our bedroom where Josh was holding our precious baby Micah... and I said, "it's positive."  He laughed. I repeated, "no really, it's positive." We were both in shock. So this is what it feels like.

There was a time when I really didn't understand how people could ever be "surprised" that they were pregnant. After all the calculating I did, it almost hurt to hear people say that. Now I knew.

Of course, at the same time, we wanted this. Josh and I knew we wanted to have more than one child. And we really wanted our children to be close together. With having endometriosis, there is always the risk that it will come back and I will need surgery again. So the longer we waited, the greater the risk.

But I was guarding my heart from disappointment again. And I was cherishing every moment with my precious Micah. I actually grabbed him after finding out and kissed him all over the face and said, "But you're my favorite!" because I literally could not wrap my mind around having another baby so soon.

That was three weeks ago.

Now, I am just ecstatic! I mean, I still think it hasn't completely sunk in yet that I will be caring for TWO babies. But I know that the Lord has gifted us this child. He will give us the strength we need to raise them both. Nothing else has made me understand God's love for me, like having a child. And I cannot wait to relive that moment of meeting another beautiful miracle face to face!

I am due March 11. But that's just a date, of course. I am 8 weeks along, and right now the baby is still small and in the critical stages of development. I am nervous, and it's harder to think about caring for my body this time around when I'm chasing an almost one-year-old around the house daily. So if you think about it, I would love your prayers for us! :)