2012 has been quite a year for our family.

I recapped a little on Thanksgiving. But seriously. A recap doesn't do justice to the overwhelming emotions that we have experienced this year. Putting our lives into words, no matter how hard I try on this blog, is quite impossible. Too much of what we feel is unexplainable.

Basically, my heart has been through a lot these past twelve months. And it's currently sleeping in a crib twenty feet away.

It was only a couple days after New Years in 2012 that I found out I was pregnant. Those two pink lines. The extra line that I had imagined seeing for months, finally appeared. And my heart literally ached with joy.

A few weeks later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer & my heart ached again. Only this time with a deep sadness and fear of what may happen.

Then a couple months later, we found out our little baby was going to be a little BOY. And my heart ached with excitement! Finally having a name to go with the little kicks and rolls I was beginning to feel. Micah Jordan.

Then just a few short weeks after that, we made the move from Alabama to Florida. And my heart was torn. Aching from separation from close friends and yet, aching with anticipation of what this new ministry opportunity would bring.

On my birthday, my heart ached with relief at the news that my mom's cancer was in remission! Best. birthday. present. ever.

Then my heart ached a lot over the summer. Missing friends. Making new ones. Pregnancy joys. Pregnancy pains. Family issues. Family blessings. It was up and down all the time. Every day was different. All the while, I documented and cherished the time. Never wanting to take a moment for granted.

I gave birth to my firstborn son on September 4, 2012. And when I looked at his face for the first time - there it was, my heart. It never occurred to me before how words could be so limiting, but trying to describe that moment definitely is.

For the past three months, my heart has been full of love for my child. And in some ways, it literally is as fragile as he is. But when I look back on this year -- it's no wonder. My heart has been through a lot.

Here's to a new year. And all the ups and downs it will bring. Lord, create in me a clean heart.

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Above everything else guard your heart, because from it flow the springs of life. - Proverbs 4:23

So, I know you are only here to check out what I actually accomplished from my "to-do" list last week. Is it too late to say I'm not really a list person? I'm pretty sure I make a list & then do everything except what was actually written down. No excuses or anything. Let's take it one by one.

- Christmas cards.

I mailed half of our cards out. Yes, I said half.  I'm still collecting addresses for the other half. And I wanted at least some  of them to arrive earlier than Christmas day. Made perfect sense in my head. Except... now, I'm getting confused as to who I mailed a card to and who I didn't. Soooo... if you get two cards from me, count it as double the love. ;)

- Gym time.

Let's just not talk about it.

- Christmas parties.

Check. Parties were a success! Gifts were bought, wrapped and delivered (I'm yours!) and cookies were made. I would like to pat myself on the back for accomplishing one task.

- Shopping. 

We've finished shopping for a couple family members. And let me just say one thing... my husband and I are refusing  to return to Walmart until after the holidays (longer, if we can manage it) because it is a complete and utter ZOO!!!! And not the cute, fluffy animal kind. The kind of zoo where animals are loose from their cages and climbing all over you smelling like... poop. Not lying. Maybe it's because we have a baby now that we are so aware of this (in fact, I'm pretty sure it is) but people do not understand personal space. Maybe that's not just Walmart, but it's definitely one of the worst.

Now on to more exciting things. Like the photo recap from this past week. :)

Happy Monday!

Last week I had one of the most inspiring talks with my husband over dinner. He encouraged me, spurred me on and ignited a desire in my heart that honestly, hasn't been there in awhile.

He said I needed to stop limiting God.

We both have a huge passion for encouraging people. It's one of the main reasons we blog. And while there is little that can discourage him from this passion, a lot of times I get discouraged very easily. "I'm not going to write that. I don't want to annoy people. Who cares what I have to say anyway?" And I tell him all of my discouraging thoughts. Frequently. About blogging, about music, about being a mom. I struggle with defeating myself before I even try sometimes.

But he keeps encouraging me. Telling me that what I'm doing matters. And that words like that, limit God and what He can do. And after our talk last week, I finally believed it!

I  know there are at least a few of you out there who read what I write. But who you are and what you think about it, I don't always know. I want to know.  I want to know what you are going through, how God is working in your life, if you feel far from Him and how I can encourage you more. Because I've been there. I have shared so many of my struggles on this blog and some I haven't even touched. Because I'm scared. Because I don't think it matters.

But He reminds me that it does. And through the voice of my husband tells me not to give up.