After reading this post today by one of my favorite singer/songwriters and bloggers, Vicky Beeching, I decided to stir a discussion over here on my own blog. It's one that is not unfamiliar to me. In fact, I wrote a post three years ago (TO THE DATE! FREEEAKY!) on this exact topic. I now have three years under my belt, instead of five months, so my perspective may have shifted... slightly.

What is the ideal age for marriage?

Come on, I'm sure you all have one. Somehow we naturally find ourselves setting up "ideal" ages for events in our life. Society has already put a set number on a few - driving, for example, happens at 16; adulthood, at 18; drinking, at 21. And these ideals are only for America. Other countries have come up with their own. Which leads me to wonder, is there really an ideal age for anything in life?

Let's pretend there is. Marriage wouldn't be excluded would it? Perhaps your first instinct is to say that there isn't an ideal age for marriage - well then, would you be okay if your ten year old daughter, brother or sister decided to wed? I'm guessing not. So we agree, there are some standards engrained in us. Which leads me to ask...

What needs to be accomplished before marriage?

The most common request I hear from parents before their son or daughter marry - is that they finish college. My parents were right in there with them. Well... I didn't. Finish college before I was married, I mean. I walked down the aisle having completed three full years of college, with one more (which would turn into three) to go. It was ideal for my parents that I finish college before I was married. They knew it would be tough for me to finish once I had a husband and house to tend to, especially on top of working part-time to pay for our new married life expenses. And they were right, it was tough. But, I would do it all over again in an instant.

The goal to succeed in life and rise to the next level, is encouraged now more than ever before in history. Determination. Drive. Competition. Rare is it to find anyone in your line of speciality that is an encourager and not a critic. And for the first time in a century, this does not exclude women. Both men and women are now pursuing higher education to achieve higher job statuses. What happens when you have both men and women fighting for the same job positions? More competition. So, back to school to get more degrees we go. The result of all this? Later marriages.

I knew that marriage was something God created me for and there was no need putting it off to get a piece of paper telling me I can work a job I probably never will. Why? Because I desire to have a family, to stay home (or work part-time at the most) and raise children to love the Lord. To me, this was what success was all about.

What are the benefits of being married young?

Being married at 21 has it's perks. First off, you get to enjoy learning together about the important things in life - paying bills, buying a house, building credit, etc. I cannot tell you how much easier it is to save money when you have two incomes working together to achieve this. (If you start young enough, Dave Ramsey says you could be a millionaire by the time you hit 40! :) Another plus in being married young, is having the opportunity to enjoy a few years together before starting a family. And yes, there is also the obvious advantage of being able to maintain purity if you marry sooner rather than later (and in this sex-driven world, this is getting more and more difficult). Ironically, most people that put off marriage claim to be waiting for the right spouse. Yet, the pool of eligible men/women tends to shrink the longer you wait. So when you marry young, they call it having the "pick of the litter" if you will.

I was blessed to meet Josh at 18. I knew there was something special about him. I just didn't know it would hit me so fast. But love has a way of progressing when you spend nearly ever day with a person. We couldn't stand to be apart and the only solution to being together for every waking moment, would be to get married. So we did. ;)

What are the benefits of being married older?

I think the most obvious advantage of being married older is discovering yourself. Figuring out what makes you tick and what doesn’t. I still believe I am learning these things about myself. There are times when I have to go tell Josh that something bothers me and I didn’t realize it until just now. He laughs at me when I do this. Which kinda makes me upset, because I'm… well, serious. But we talk about everything, pray about everything and forgive everything, which I believe is really the key to our success. Other advantages of being married older are greater economic security and stability, more active together as a couple and better educated. These things all result in a lower divorce rate.

Final thoughts...

I think it is important to point out that if we wait until we are ready for marriage, we will be waiting forever. There is never going to be a time in our lives when we have it ALL figured out. The goal is to try and become the person you are looking for in a mate. And while you are waiting, seek the Lord and His plan for your life. And marriage may not be for everyone. The Bible definitely encourages singleness and talks about it being a gift. I am not here to assume that everyone is going to be married. But for those of you who are, or will be, or hope to be, please feel free to give your input for each of these questions. I would love to hear your thoughts!

We arrived 15 minutes early to my surgery appointment on Wednesday morning. I guess you could say we were eager to get things over and done with! Of course, when you arrive at 5:00am for surgery, you have to be prepared for a couple hours of waiting. And that we did. We sat in the little "prep room" for about two and half hours. I got in my surgery getup, while Josh humored me by taking pictures (I also played a bit of Fruit Ninja on my iPhone to keep my mind occupied... haha!) Our pastor arrived and prayed with us. We kept waiting. The nurse finally came in and started prepping me for surgery. She put the IV in my hand - which was probably the most pain I felt until post-op. And it only stung a little. I was quite calm through the whole process. My blood pressure of 106/70 confirmed that.

  Around 7:30 (yes, two and half hours later) I was separated from the small room and my husband, and wheeled back into a holding area. I thought this was going to be it... but, it wasn't. This room was full of other patients. As I sat there for another hour, I overheard stories of why others were having surgery and it made my situation seem all the less worrisome - one girl had sliced her finger open, another man had kidney stones. I was beginning to get fidgety when the anesthesia doctor approached me, "They haven't given you anything yet?" I just nodded my head and smiled, "Nope, not yet." He told me he was going to go fix that.  

As soon as he walked away, another nurse came up to my bed and said she was going to be taking me back soon. The anesthesiast, or whatever you call him, handed her a needle full of some drug that she injected in my hand. She said they call it the, "I don't care" drug. And it literally began working... fast! I became a loopy mess. I remember her wheeling me back to the operation room and helping me move on to the table. She injected something else in my hand and I asked her if this was supposed to make me fall asleep, she said, "Not yet, this is just getting you prepared. As soon as the doctor walks in and gives me the go-ahead, I will give you the anesthesia." The last thing I remember are the double doors opening, a white coat walking in and the needle going in my IV.  

The surgery was a success. The doctor found endometriosis on both of my ovaries and a little behind my uterus, but was able to remove it all! I was told that this should help with pain and fertility. I am so thankful for the Lord's provision. I believe that if left untreated, things could have gotten a lot worse. I am still waiting to go back for my post-op appointment in a couple weeks, where I will hear ALL the details about the surgery and what to expect now.

  Thanks to everyone for your prayers! I have definitely felt the love. I also want to say a HUGE thank you, to my husband Josh, for being such a good "nurse" these past couple days as I've been healing up. It was more comfortable for me to sleep propped up in the recliner because of the placements of the incisions on my stomach and Josh has slept on the couch right beside me both days. What a lovely man I married. :)  

Can I breathe a sigh of relief and say I'm thankful yesterday is over? Whew... I'm thankful yesterday is over. It was not a fun day. For many reasons unassociated with Halloween itself. Even though it does happen to be my least favorite holiday. In fact, I don't even think of it as a holiday. It's creepy, it's embarrassing to see half-dressed women (and children!) walk around, and you don't get out of school for it. It's not a holiday.

But, I didn't have to endure any of the halloween crazies this year. Instead I attended a memorial service for the father of two of our students. He passed away this weekend after suffering with Listeria for over a week. He was a husband, a father, teacher, and a football coach. He wasn't even 50 years old. Both of his daughters (pictured with me, above) are in our youth group at church and his wife helps serve on Wednesday nights. We love them all dearly. It's crazy how life can end so quickly and without warning. I am learning this every day as I get older, that our moments together are but a glimpse. Here today, gone tomorrow.

I want my life to leave a legacy. God obviously thought enough to put me here for a reason, I want to fulfill His purpose for me to the fullest. Some days I know exactly what I'm here to do. Some days I think I'm still learning what exactly that is. And honestly, some days I feel as though I have no purpose at all. But God always seems to come through with a word of encouragement to point me in the right direction. Last week, I was feeling purposeless when I received the random message telling me that my music was playing on the radio! You see? You never really know what your words could mean to someone.

I think my biggest struggle with purpose right now is not being a mom. I love children with all my heart. I love them the moment they walk in my classroom and the moment they leave. I love them when they pee on my floor, when they spill paint on my chairs, when they trip over their shoelaces and come crying to me to tie them. I love their little smiles and when their laughter fills the room, I have a hard time not laughing too. I struggle with understanding why God would allow us to face infertility, while allowing teenagers to get pregnant? Or worse, a woman He knows is going to choose to abort it?

I understand these are sensitive subjects. I am just being real with you.

Tomorrow is my first surgery ever. I like to think I'm a brave person, but this is a tad scary. But I am doing it for my future children. I want to do all that I can to leave a lasting legacy and one of the greatest ways I believe we can do that is through our children. I am thankful for a mom, who prayed for me no matter the circumstance. I am grateful for the legacy of my grandma, who showed me the love of Jesus from a young age. I am blessed by the legacy of my mother-in-law who raised four boys to know and love the Lord, one whom I would eventually marry. Without these women, my life would not exist. I pray that my purpose on this earth would not just end with me...