The Lord opened my eyes to a passage I have read many times. But today, He gave me a new perspective.

I cannot tell you how many times I have read these verses and focused on everything but the bolded part - pride in one's lifestyle. I mean, I get that we aren't to love the things of this world... fleshly desires, lustful thinking... but I have never thought about the idea of having pride in our lifestyle. Then this morning, it was as if all I could read in the paragraph were those words.

Lord, what is pride in one's lifestyle? 

To answer this, the Lord directed me to read the passage before these verses in 1 John 2:12-14 where the author begins to explain his reason for writing this book. It can be summed up in two sentences - "you have come to know the One who is from the beginning" and " you have had victory over the evil one." This book was written to the church, to those who know the Lord. Funny, just this past week at WIRED we talked about spiritual warfare and battling the enemy. The last day was all about the victory. I can definitely stand with those whom 1 John is written to and say that I know the One from the beginning and have had victory over the evil one. This book was written for those like me.

So Lord, what is this "pride in one's lifestyle" supposed to mean?

There are generational sins in my family. Drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, depression and abuse. And by the grace of God, I have been victorious over the evil one in these areas! I am still young - with an indefinite amount of time to live - but I believe that I have been empowered by the Holy Spirit in my life to have victory. I can stand before you today with all the pride in me and say I have never done drugs or drank a bottle of alcohol. I grew up surrounded by it... but was never once tempted. In fact, I was more disgusted than anything. And I still am.

But if I am not careful, I can let pride seep into my life... where I begin to think of myself as the victorious one, instead of the Holy Spirit within me. I begin to look at my life and how "good" I am and all the "stuff" I have and... wow, how easy it can be to become prideful. Joel Osteen wouldn't like this post... but, whoever tells you that living a life of surrender to Christ is easy - is probably not living it.

So please forgive me if I've at any point been prideful of my lifestyle on this blog. I've done my best to be real and open with my struggles, as well as how God has helped me overcome them. I pray that in doing this, you will be inspired and encouraged to live a more dedicated life to Christ as well.

So... my amazing husband and I celebrated THREE years of marriage this past week! We spent a few days in Hilton Head, SC riding bikes around town and enjoying the beach... before the craziness of my sister's wedding weekend began! We didn't have internet connection, so I quietly worked on this song during my downtime... and finished this special video TODAY! So... Happy THREE YEAR Anniversary, my love. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed making it. :)

Storms

Ever since I was a child I prayed to grow up To leave my little nest and learn to fly

I prayed I'd find a love Someone that I could trust To shelter me from storms in this life

When the winds blow When the seas grow When the fires come and burn it all away You are faithful And I'm grateful That you never leave, when it's hard to stay

Sometimes I lay awake In the middle of the night And wonder how I ended up right here

Beside the man I love The one that I can trust To help me overcome my deepest fears

Repeat chorus

Oh, and loving isn't easy But when it comes to you There's nothing that's been easier to do

Waiting seems to be the theme of my life right now. I haven't talked about this much publicly, but Josh and I have been praying about having children soon. I guess you could say we stopped "hindering" things about 8 months ago. Started to actually "time" things about 4 months ago. And well, basically we're still waiting. :) The Lord is the giver of life, and we are patient that it will happen in his timing. I guess I just assumed that as soon as we started trying... things would move right along. It's strange to say, but waiting gives us both a sense of doubt - "Will we ever have children of our own?" and a sense of faith - "God, you know what you're doing."

Waiting has also been a theme when it comes to pursuing a career in music. Right now, I am a music teacher. But the desire of my heart, since I began following Christ as a young girl, has always been to travel and sing. Every time I think a door is opening for this to happen, I am left with more... waiting. I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with a record label last month and discuss the music business, what it takes to be a successful artist, where I fit as far as my commercial appeal, songwriting, etc. goes. I learned that I still have a lot of growing to do, even at 24... and here I am thinking I'm getting old. Which makes the waiting even harder.

Probably the most difficult waiting I have in my life right now, is the separation from family. Josh and I live six hours from his side of the family and four hours from mine. And with our consistently busy lives, we rarely get a chance to spend quality time with the ones we love most. It's difficult. And even more difficult when holidays come around. We usually make the trip up to South Carolina to visit the Robinson's, but since I never know what state my dad will be in (with his job) and my parents live in two different houses, it's hard to make plans with both of them. Waiting to see them again can seem like forever.

I don't mean to sound pitiful. Haha. We have so much to be grateful for. And Josh and I have really grown in our relationship and dependence on the Lord and each other. I couldn't be more thankful for my husband, he's just one example of something that I waited 21 years for the Lord to provide... and he matched every prayer and hope I dreamed for. This makes the waiting in life easier, looking back on all God has brought me through so far.

I hope you enjoy this song I wrote in honor of this time of my life.

Waiting

Another morning, I wake up praying for a sign Another day has come and gone The months roll on and on And it's still not my time

And while the waiting is hard And knowing this part of Your plan is not my own I am never alone

Another busy day at work, is this all that I'm worth Counting pennies in a car? And I dream to leave this small town And see a bigger world But will I ever get that far?

And while the waiting is hard And knowing this part of Your plan is not my own I am never alone

Oooh, ooh

Sitting on a quiet porch, the family all indoors About to say goodbye Twice a year is not enough To see the ones you love Oh the distance is too wide

And while the waiting is hard And knowing this part of Your plan is not my own I am never alone

And while the waiting is hard You have brought me this far And if there's one thing I know... I am never alone