They say that, "no news, is good news." Sometimes that's true. And then sometimes - like when I am cooking or cleaning and leave Micah alone to wander aimlessly around the house searching for something to destroy - hearing nothing is more disturbing than the shrieks and shrills that usually abound. That said, I figured it was time to update you all on our baby girl, Hannah (if you don't know what's been going on, read this post to catch up).
First of all, praise the Lord, because in our case the "no news, is good news" theory is definitely true! Last week was a flood of great news. In all the peace and excitement, I totally forgot to even mention anything here on the blog. I guess this proves that I write more out of the desert than on the mountaintop. Or that I decided to refinish eight dining room chairs, rearrange three rooms in my house, and work on packing for our upcoming Thanksgiving vacation (can you say "nesting" at 22 weeks pregnant, anyone?)
The combination of all of that, has left little time to update this blog. And I'm so sorry! You all have been some of the most encouraging, prayerful people in our lives. And I just want you to know how grateful my husband and I are for that.
So on to the news...
A couple weeks ago we decided to go ahead and get a blood test done to find out the risk of Hannah having possible chromosomal problems. The results came back... I am low risk for any possible birth defects! Praise The Lord for this comforting news. Although, I admit I was ready and willing for anything, it still is reassuring to know with 99.8% accuracy that our baby girl will be just fine.
Also, we had another ultrasound done last week to look at her heart for any defects - specifically the VSD that Micah was born with - and everything looked completely normal! She doesn't appear to have any heart issues at all. So that was more comforting news.
They also took a peek at her kidneys to see if there was still extra fluid in the left one, and there was more great news there - nothing above the normal level was found!
So basically, to sum it all up - Hannah looks like a perfectly, normal 23 week old baby, growing healthy in the womb at this moment. The "soft markers" for Downs are completely that... "very soft" and there is a 99.8% chance she will not be born with it. The doctor said verbatim, "Nothing is ever 100%, but this should be very reassuring news to you."
And it is. It really is. But deep down there is still something that is unsettling to me. And it's the fact that we even had to go through all of these "screenings" and "tests" to come to this conclusion.
It makes me question why I even get ultrasounds or go to the doctor in the first place. In fact, I went in for a pregnancy checkup today, and it was literally 15 min from the moment I walked in the door until the moment I left. Fifteen minutes. They weighed me and measured my belly and sent me on my merry way.
The whole thing just makes me feel weird sometimes. How something so natural, has turned into something so... controlled.
I could say much more about this, but I will refrain. Because I'm definitely not opposed to medical intervention by any means. It just causes me to think about and understand how a woman who has no way to pay for multiple doctor visits and multiple tests to rule out "possible" issues with her baby who hasn't even taken his first breath yet, could become discouraged about her ability to carry and give birth to a healthy child. And then my heart aches for all the abortions taking place, some literally right this second.
How many occur because they just don't have time to "worry" about it all? How they will provide. How they will deal with the emotional, physical and mental aspects of pregnancy.
It can be overwhelming. And that's coming from a very stable, very emotionally, physically and mentally capable person. At least by God's grace I am.
I had an aunt who didn't go to the hospital until she was six months pregnant with her first child. She would probably be ridiculed or at risk of having her maternal instincts questioned, in today's society.
Because we put too much emphasis on having control of our lives. When God, the giver of life, is ultimately the one in control.
Sorry to go off there, but these are the honest and raw feelings I have towards this past month of literal chaos and worry over multiple doctor visits. I could never be more grateful for my hope in Jesus than when I am pregnant. It is completely out of my hands.
Josh and I have talked, and we truly believe that we are fighting a spiritual battle here. And this is one way the enemy likes to discourage us.
So I am just rejoicing and praising God today, for giving us this healthy (very active!) baby girl! May she continue to be molded and formed in the womb by our Creator. And prayed and longed for by us.
Four months til her due date!