Yesterday I went costume shopping. Micah's adorable "Monster" costume was given to us by a friend and I found Josh an awesome Where's Waldo outfit, so the only one costume-less was me. It's kind of a fun thing for me to do, costume shopping, even though I feel like a bit of an imposter while doing it. I mean, I'm dressing up for our student ministry's costume night at church. It's not like we're technically "celebrating" Halloween, we're basically just taking advantage of the chance to have some crazy, stupid fun. Because, really, who doesn't like to dress up? Anyway, so after picking through the last of the remains of costumes at Target, and finding nothing that fell into the "funny, but not crude" category I was going for, I got in my car and searched "Halloween costume store" on my gps. The closest one was half a mile away and right next door to Hobby Lobby (which was my final destination if I couldn't find anything). Perfect, I thought.
Upon entering, I was overwhelmed by the massive amounts of costumes and just knew I'd for sure find what I was looking for.
A young girl who was working there quickly offered to help me pick out a costume, especially after I told her I was expecting. "I've actually really been wanting to help a pregnant lady find a costume!" She said excitedly.
I had no clue what I was in for.
The first stop she made was the fairy/goddess section. She showed me how the waistlines were higher which would fall perfectly above my belly, and the dresses were long and flowy and beautiful (and strapless and see-through). I think the exact one she suggested was the "Greek Goddess Athena." I quickly realized I was going to need to be a little more specific.
"I'm actually going for something a little more lighthearted and funny, but thanks for that suggestion..." And as soon as the words came out she said, "Ooh! How about a pregnant nun?!"
I have to admit. I gave that one a little more thought.
"Haha! Wow, that would be hilarious! But, well... do you have any type of food costumes?" She led me to a "Sexy M&M costume" and that's when I knew I needed to go ahead and break the news to her.
"Thanks for all your help, but I'm going for something a little more modest, and non-vulgar because, actually I'm dressing up for a costume party at our church."
She gave me an, "Oh." And looked at me like I had been wearing a costume the whole time.
And then I realized how true that probably was. Because to be honest, I was trying to avoid telling her I was going to a church costume party at all. I knew, from the moment she approached me that modest and friendly wasn't on her mind. And I didn't want to burst her bubble and I especially didn't want to make the situation awkward. But the more I tried to cover up the truth, the more awkward it was when it eventually came out.
The whole time I was mindlessly following her around and entertaining her mostly inappropriate suggestions for me, I felt discontent in my spirit. Because I knew I was avoiding the truth for fear of pride. What would she think of me?Would she still want to help me find something?Or would she think I was a prude?
These are the same fears that come to mind whenever I have the opportunity to expose Christ to the world. Because I know it's like shining a bright light in someone's eyes - it's not always welcome or pleasant, especially when you've spent a long time in the dark.
But the discontentment I feel when I choose to ignore the leading of the Holy Spirit to speak up and say something is not worth it. It's not worth the hindrance it causes in my prayer life, or the dip it causes in my faith.
Being true to who I am in Christ and what He has called me to do, should never take a back seat.
And sometimes, when I'm put into a situation where I know I will stick out like a sore thumb, or in this case, like a modest costume on Halloween, I am not content enough in this truth as I'd like to be.
I ended up leaving that store and heading next door to Hobby Lobby, where I bought some felt for $5.99 and made myself the absolute perfect outfit to go along with my little monster. A giant cookie. :)
This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October entitled “31 Days of Being Content.” See all other posts in this series by clicking here. Or enter your email address in the sidebar on the right to subscribe to this blog and receive posts straight to your inbox!