Today is our last full day of vacation! It's been wonderful and relaxing. But I need to admit one thing... my packing job for this trip was horrible. Probably the worst I've ever done, actually.
I will blame some of it on the fact that I had - maybe - two full hours at home during the few days leading up to our trip.
But the truth is, at 17.5 weeks preggo, I'm just struggling to find clothes that fit anymore. I've reached that point in pregnancy where I am too big for my normal clothes, but still too small for some of my maternity wear. The result is a a bunch of dresses, yoga pants and loose fitting tees thrown in a suitcase. I didn't even bother to make sure I had shoes to match. I basically wear out one pair of sandals anyway.
Hello unwashed hair, and baggy maternity shirt.
This is my life.
I've never been one to care about the latest fashion. I'm a comfort-over-cute girl any day. Add a pregnancy to the mix, and I'm all about living in my husband's t-shirts (yes, I'm wearing one right now).
And while I am super comfortable sitting here snuggled up on our hotel bed, eating my chocolate covered almonds in sweatpants and my hubby's tee, I wish I could say that I'm truly content. But if I walked outside our hotel room right now, I would feel like a bum.
Which leaves me to wonder... am I not as low-maintenance as I thought? Or does every woman out there struggle with these same insecurities?
The more I read scripture, the more I am encouraged to not be concerned with outward beauty and to not worry about the next fashionable thing I will wear. But then I look up. And out. And begin to see such an emphasis on the outward - the outfit posts, the fashion blogs, the hair tutorials. And I give in to all of it (well besides the #ootd posts... never).
Because looking beautiful on the outward, has somehow made me feel more beautiful on the inside.
And this lie that has found it's way into the core of my being is not just a lie that I believe. It's a lie that is preached by many. And this false sense of beauty has created such a discontentment in my life.
As Christians, we are quick to speak out against things that go directly against Scripture. But this is one of those areas that we tend to ignore. Because what harm does looking nice do to anyone?
Well I can only speak for myself, but the fashion posts do a lot of harm in my heart. I want more than I can afford. And am never satisfied with what I have. Which is exactly why I don't read a lot of them. But the truth is you can get this way from walking into a clothing store if you're not careful. It's all about finding the struggle and removing it from your life. For me, it's fashion posts and pictures. And some days, I just need to avoid Target. I just do.
I think this would be an easier battle to face, if I didn't feel so alone in it.
And here's a big honest statement that I'm scared to write, but gotta say - I truly think we do our sisters (and brothers!) in Christ a huge disservice by constantly praising their outer appearance.
Praise their genuine love for people, or their ability to make people laugh... or something that lets them know that you value them for more than what they look like. I feel a lot of us have believed the lie that when we look beautiful we feel beautiful, because that's the only time people tell us we do.
I am making a point this week to start handing out intentional compliments - those godly traits I admire about someone that truly make them beautiful to me. Because if there's one way to create peace and contentment in my heart - it's by noticing and valuing it in others.
This post is part of a series I’m writing for the month of October entitled “31 Days of Being Content.” See all other posts in this series by clicking here. Or enter your email address in the sidebar on the right to subscribe to this blog and receive posts straight to your inbox!