I've neglected this blog for too many weeks now. I could start by blaming my busy schedule with a busy baby, but the multi-colored shapes flashing in my head from playing too many levels of Candy Crush convict me.
I have an addiction and it's not good.
But really, I don't want this blog to be an empty space for me to vent or only share the monthly updates of my baby. Those are the things that draw me to this space more often than not, but they are not a good representation of my life as a whole.
Sure, motherhood has completely consumed me. I am infatuated with my precious little baby and I cannot remember what I actually took pictures of before becoming pregnant. But despite what my Instagram says about me, I do actually have a life. And by life, I mean a calling. And a great one at that.
I'm a disciple of Jesus. Surrendered to a life of ministry.
Some days I forget that, to be honest. I wake up and feel the pressure to be the best mom and the best wife I can be (lately, in that order too). And while those are very high callings, I never want them to replace my ultimate calling to be His hands and feet. To love and serve the world. To tell others about Jesus.
I have the wonderful blessing of being "married to the ministry," in a sense. My husband is a student pastor. So you would think this would come easier for me. And while I may be attending more services and church events than the average person, this doesn't mean I am necessarily fulfilling my calling.
It can be easy, especially for pastor's wives, to sit back and enjoy the fruit of our husband's labor. We can hide out and write off the many prayers we send up on our husband's behalf as fulfilling our ministerial duties. But that's just it, we're fulfilling our ministerial role as a wife. What about the part of my calling to make disciples of all nations, to love others as Jesus has loved me and to carry one another's burdens?
That's what I want to be known for. I love being called Josh's wife and Micah's mom, but above all I want people to know me as a follower of Jesus. A sister in Christ. A daughter of God.
And some days the best way I can make a disciple is by training up my son to know Jesus. And the best way I can love others as Jesus loved me is by sacrificially loving my husband. But I never want that to replace my heart for people. I never want to pass them by because I'm too busy wrapped up in my own little world of wife and mom.
A very important little world, no doubt.
Anyway, I hope you hear my heart. This weekend was an example of a way I was able to feel the complete fulfillment in every area of my life. I led on the worship team while my husband was preaching, and simultaneously Micah was fed, changed and loved on.
I chatted with people after every service and there are some hurting, others rejoicing and some who really need to accept the grace and forgiveness of Jesus. And I was able to help be a part of showing them that.
Seriously though, my husband delivered a FANTASTIC message this weekend. I encourage you to watch it below.