This week has been an emotional roller coaster. This whole journey has been really, but this week was the dip in the ride. Monday we had our bi-weekly appointment with the cardiologist (which I am going to hearby refer to as the "heart doctor," I like the sound of that better - and it's easier to spell) and my biggest concern going in was to see if the hole in his heart was any smaller. My concerns multiplied as soon as he hit the scale. His weight was down. He didn't just not gain weight in the past two weeks - he lost weight.
I immediately began to think over the past couple weeks and what may have caused the decline.
1. He was sick. I noticed he had a lot of congestion and a little diarrhea earlier that week. 2. They just started him on a new medicine, which acts as a diuretic (makes him pee more). And then the biggest possible reason came to me... 3. They weighed him with a wet diaper last checkup.
I didn't think anything about it at the time, but I mentioned to the nurse that he had a wet diaper when they were going to weigh him and she told me not to worry about it and to just put him on the scale. A couple ounces may not matter to anyone else - but to Micah, it is crucial. This could be the deciding factor between him having surgery sooner rather than later. And every day counts, to give the hole a chance to close on it's own.
So I let the heart doctor know all of these things, and he agreed that we need to monitor his weight (diaper-less) for a couple weeks. Thankfully, we don't have to drive to Shands to do this - our pediatrician in town is more convenient. We went today and his weight is UP! Praise the Lord. The pediatrician also confirmed my suspicions that Micah has a little viral infection - not contagious - and should go away in the next couple days. This could definitely have contributed to his lack of weight gain the week before. We'll go back again next week to make sure things are progressing again normally.
All of this has really opened my eyes to a world of hurt. Every two weeks when we walk into the pediatric heart clinic - I am blown away by the number of beautiful little children in the waiting room. This is a common struggle for many families out there. I talked to one mom, whose little 2 year old boy was about to have his third open heart surgery the next day. You could see it in his big brown eyes as he was about to walk back to meet the doctor - he knew what was happening. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and cried. It broke my heart.
I prayed for her the next day. The waiting, the surgery, that God would let her feel His presence. After all, God is close to the broken-hearted.
One day, that could be me. And the thought of having to hand over my precious little boy's heart and put it (literally) in the hands of the doctor, scares me to death. I think I could die thinking about it right now. But I trust that if the time comes, God will prepare my own heart to go through it. Just as He has always done.
Thank you all for the prayers. Please continue to pray for Micah, as well as mom and dad. We so appreciate it!