You might notice a theme as I continue to share the stories behind the music on my "New Day" EP. They are actually in chronological order. Listening to the album straight through will give you a glimpse into the progression of my life - as well as my writing style. I've already covered tracks 1 (Beauty) & 2 (Captivate Me), but also written during my first year of college is the title track of my EP, New Day. The song is pretty much self-explanatory, so I am going to break it down verse by verse to share this story.
It's late at night, I should be in bed I should be sleeping, laying down my head But my troubling mind won't let me rest
Most people who know me well, can testify that I am a night owl (in fact, it's 11pm right now when I've decided to sit down and write this). This song was a legit, midnight-writing session. My roommate was already asleep and it was quite difficult to maintain a whisper in the 150 square foot dorm room. But my mind was racing nonstop and I needed to get these words out.
I've come to gather my thoughts I've come to lay down my pride Chasing hope, picking up another side A sign of virtue, or wisdom to be my guide.
At this point in my life, I had many more questions than answers. I went to bible college to grow spiritually and pursue my music calling, but I felt so distracted. Mostly by... boys. I was warned this would happen. That as soon as I arrived to college they would be on their knees ready to propose, or something like that. The problem was... I thought everyone was kidding. I needed wisdom. And to be honest, I was really bad at weeding out the losers.
Chasing away, the memories of yesterday Living each day as a new day We lay down it all Our burdens will fall So that You'll pick up where we left off
Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I took that thought and reversed it. If we shouldn't worry about tomorrow's troubles, then why should we worry about yesterday's? Each day has enough trouble of its own. If we added every bad yesterday to a bad today... how could we survive? Laying my burdens at the feet of Jesus is the only way I have. Like I said, my radar was off with some of the guys I met as a single girl. And when this song was written, I was confused. I tried to be the nice, friendly girl... but that sometimes gave off the wrong impression. So, I didn't know how to act. And yes, sadly... this was my major burden at the time (and it seems so amateur and pointless now!) but this song has spoken to me over the years as I've battled different things. This has now become my mindset. Every day is a new day, live like it.
I'm still awake And I'm beginning to doubt the end will ever come If I keep living as if I'm done with the beginning of my life
A lot of circular-reasoning to say... I was wishing for the next stage in life, but afraid of actually getting there. Kinda like I was trying to fall asleep that night, but not being able to because my mind was racing. It's a metaphor, if that makes sense. :)
So indecisive I think I’ve lost my mind I’m still searching and running out of time Holding on to what I thought was left behind
That last line sums it up. I had a hard time letting go of the past. But the longer I held on, the more I felt like it was keeping me from the future. I still struggle with this. Even though I tell myself that I'm "living each day as a new day" there are times when I see someone and I still feel a grudge well up inside... for something that I said I'd already forgiven them for.
Chasing away, the memories of yesterday Living each day as a new day We lay down it all Our burdens will fall Living each day in a new way
A new day awaits A battle to face And I'm prepared to fight If I could just get to sleep tonight
Every day is a battle. If you were looking for a happy story at the end of this... well, there is one! Kinda. The battle in the relationship department has ended for me... I married a great man of God and, thankfully, my judgment was good this time. But I still have struggles. They just have new faces. That's why it's important that I'm prepared and ready for whatever each new day brings.
Ok, 1:17am... now it's time to sleep. :)
Click here to listen: [audio:http://cassidyrobinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/03-New-Day-1.mp3|titles=New Day]