It's easy for my mind to wander. In fact, it's incredible when I manage to gather my thoughts long enough to sit down and write a blog post. I've been trying to write this one for the past hour... I can't help that my cute husband beside me is kind of distracting. ;) Anywaaaay... today I'm reminded of a song I wrote six years ago, during my freshman year of college. I remember vividly taking my guitar outside to the small lake we had on campus and playing through the chorus. Captivate my every thought, before I think it. Analyze my every word, before I speak it... This was a natural prayer from me to God. Here I was, four hours from home... at BIBLE college. I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Me, the girl that won a "frequent flyer" award in high school for being too gullible (and the certificate was in the shape of a "For Rent" sign, ha!) was going to school to study music, theology and life in the ministry. A calling that could only come from the Lord.
I was seventeen when I knew God was calling me to the ministry. The struggle came down to whether I was going to listen to that call or not. I was beginning to enjoy the limelight and thrill of performing, especially in musical theater. I was an active thespian in high school, competing in several district and state festivals. I lived for the thrill of the stage. I attended a choral clinic at Stetson University my senior year and was seriously thinking about continuing my enjoyment of theater and majoring in it there... but something never felt quite right. I know now that I didn't have the peace of God. My youth pastor, Adam, encouraged me to hear God's call and listen to it. He told me about a small, little college in Graceville, FL where he received his undergrad called The Baptist College of Florida (or BCF, as we lovingly refer). But my mind wandered and dreamed of festivals and big cities and Broadway! What would ever become of me if I attended college in a small town best known for it's Bingo nights and peanuts? Little did I know.
One morning, I decided to sit down and watch (ironically enough) a "Behind the Music" DVD of the Christian band, Casting Crowns. They had just released their new album and it was a huge hit! I was listening to the lead singer, Mark Hall, tell the story behind writing the song, "Voice of Truth." I listened as he shared his life struggle with identifying all the voices inside his head and how inadequate he felt when choosing to major in music in college - because he couldn't even read music! I was listening intently for him to say which college he attended. I assumed that he had to have gone somewhere pretty prestigious to go from not reading music... to an international recording artist! You can imagine how surprised I was when I found out that Mark Hall attended BCF. I can't explain it, but after hearing his testimony... something snapped in me. I had my own personal experience of "The Voice of Truth" in my life, right there in my living room. I knew where I needed to go.
BCF wasn't the cheapest option. It wasn't the easiest option. And it was probably the least comforting option as far as being "close to home" goes. But God provided the way, completely. My trust was in Him, my faith was in Him... so why did I have to fight so many distractions once I got there? This brings me back to sitting outside with my guitar, by the lake. I wrote, "Captivate Me" within the first couple weeks of being at BCF... it was my prayer to God to captivate the thoughts in me that were not of Him, to change my actions that were not pleasing to Him, and to use my life to bring Him glory. If God can use a wanderer like me, then He can definitely use you! :)
Sweet moment... a few weeks later I was asked to sing in our school's chapel service and I chose to sing "Captivate Me." It was the first song Josh ever heard me sing. I had no idea who he was at the time or that he would one day be my husband! This is just a further example of how God's plan is bigger than ours... and every step of obedience is so important. You never know what you could be missing out on by taking one wrong turn.
Click here to listen: [audio:http://cassidyrobinson.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/02-Captivate-Me.mp3|titles=Captivate Me]